Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Kind of...I Don't Know

"In my head, I see you, all over me. In my head, you, fulfill, my fantasy"
~In My Head, Jason Derulo~

I love this song, and I love to live.

Yesterday, I was up till 4:30 in the morning, and then went to bed.  At 7 o'clock, I woke up, and was about 2.3 seconds from losing my self.  I had the worst nightmare in my life, and it scared me, more than I have ever been scared, in my life.  Now, I have had some pretty close encounters in my life, including almost being bitten by a copperhead in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia.
I do not really want to talk about the dream, because I know that one day it is going to come true in a sense, and I do not want to be reminded of that. I only hope that when it does, I have someone there to take care of me.

I spent the next few hours after that waiting to hear from my friend about getting a ride downtown to UofM.  I totally made it down there. lol
It was a blast, I love going down there, and seeing all the people that I know.  I think the most important thing in life is getting out, and seeing the world, including the people who inhabit it.  How else will we learn why we are here.
Well I spent the day trying to figure out who the mystery asker from my Formspring was, and hoping they would talk to me...I kind of really want to meet them, I am not used to not knowing who it is that talks to me.
I am not sure if I have talked about this at all, so I will now. I started Formspring, and I was getting some awesome, but personal, questions.  So I told whoever it was to email me if they were serious. Well, they were, and they did.  Which is awesome in itself.  Well, we chatted a little bit, and I found out a few details that should help me.  They were in one of my classes last year, and I really feel bad because I do not know if I remember them.  I do not think we talked, and I was busy checking out a crush I have, so I did not really pay attention.  But, maybe I should have.  Anyways, I have not heard anything from them for a few days, and I am wondering where they went, but it's cool.  Maybe some other day.

I came home yesterday, and went to bed at 11, which is like super early for me.  I am not usually in bed before 2, so it was weird, but I was running on a very little sleep.

I got up at 7:30 this morning and it sucked too.  But I am going to keep doing it so that I can get on a schedule.
I ended up going downtown again with Katie, and hung out in the LGBT Center a while.  I could go into more on this topic, but I do not think I will.  There is some things that I do not want to speculate on.

I went and hung out with Judy and Paul, with Katie.  Tym and John came over, and we had a lot of fun.  But I was reminded that I am not going to have anybody there for me at my birthday party.  I do not mean no one will be there, I mean, when I fall asleep, I am going to be alone.  I do not like that.  But there is only one person that I really want to be with, and only a very few others I could see myself with.  I guess someday it will happen, but I would love it someday soon....

Today was just normal, and I think that tomorrow will be too. I have my friends birthday party at BDubs and Churchills, and I plan to have a lot of fun.  Get at me sometime everyone, I love to talk, and love to meet people.


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