Monday, January 25, 2010

Looong Weekend....and Crotch Grabbing...

"I'm standing here, but you don't see me, I'd give it all for that change"

"Standing out in the rain, I need to know if it's over, cause I will leave you alone"
~Before The Storm, Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas~
(Love the lyrics of this song)

I have to say this

Cojo from Entertainment Tonight scares the hell out of me.

Moving right along...

I have been out every single night this weekend, which started thursday.  Here's the run-down


I originally did not have any plans for this night.  I was sitting at home, hanging out, and kind of bored.  Some how my friends Lisa and Sam plan on getting me, and they do.  We head down to the dorms, so Sam can drop Lisa and I off, and go home.  She had to get up and work the next morning.  Lisa started getting ready to go out, and Andrea came by and totally got hot in like 5 minutes..  I wish I could get hot as fast as girls can.  Its amazing.  Paige came over soon after, I had persuaded her to come out with us that night.  Just so you guys know, one of the University fraternities were having an event at a bar called Churchills.  Nice place right in the heart of downtown Flint.  Anyways, we all went out, and I got to see a few people I haven't seen since before I left for work.  All in all I had a great time, even though I pretty much just sat there all night.
Oh yeah.
There were a few cute guys there that I kind of talk to, but not really, and I think I might be changing that.  One guy, I just met that night is definitely on homo-suspicion.  I recognize his necklace as something similar to what I bought for someone, and it would not be worn by any straight man.  I am kind of hoping he is too because he was hot.


Went to the Triangle, a local gay bar, with one of my best friends, Ashley.  I love this girl, and I am getting tired of people talking shit about her.  I might have to take car of some business soon.
There was a drag show on, but we didn't really pay any attention.  Everyone else was drinking.  But I met some really great people, and I hope to chill with them again soon.  They're pretty awesome
There were some hot guys there, but I don't know.  I feel like I shouldn't be looking for guys in a bar, even though it is an almost guarantee they are gay.  Which would be better than me going after straight guys all the time.


Ah yes. Amazing, epic, and eventful are the only words to describe this night.  It was awesome.
So I got up around I don't know, and dazed and confused.  Did a quick load of laundry and got ready to go.  Since my phone is pretty much turned off ( I can still receive calls, but that is only going to last a few more days) I tagged some people on my status on Facebook so they would call me.  I think I found the greatest thing about Facebook, because no sooner had it posted I received the phone calls I was looking for.  Talk about speedy.
Anyways, Sam and her boyfriend came and got me from my house, and we went out to BDubs(Buffalo Wild Wings).  Greatest place on earth.  I got some chips and salsa, and drank lots of water.  I don't think it really helped.  I still woke up way hungover.
After BDubs, Sam drove me over to Paige's house, dropped me off, and Paige and I left for another University fraternity for another party.  Tonight was my night to drink, and drink, and drink.  It felt amazing to finally let loose after not having the chance to get mega drunk.
I saw some more people I have not seen in months, and got to catch up with quite a bit of them.  I lost my house key, but I think they found it, and I danced my ass off.  Hell yeah, that was a party.
There was also a guy there that well, to say the least, I have a decent crush on.  I don't know if he knows or not, but its cool.  At one point during the night he was giving someone a lap-dance right next to me, and I ended up reaching my hand up and right into his pants.  Now, that is kind of not what I do, and I think the liquid courage was working way to much that night.  There are quite a few parts I don't really remember, and I love it.  I know that sounds reckless and immature, but right now, I am going to be.  I'm young, and I am getting it out now, so I am not being stupid as an old man.


I slept my hangover off, got up, took a shower, and Ashley came over and picked me up.  We went and chilled with Jude, which was great just hanging out.  I got to see my friend Mileah, and to see Madison, Kristie, and Alix(Judes GF).  I am so glad I got to see Jude.
Haha, oh, and she is a twin just like me, and I totally think her brother is hot.  But he is straight.  He a great guy though, I lived with them last summer, and I don't think he ever, ever, had a problem with me.  I would say we pretty tight.

Ok, it is bedtime....I am going to try and be on campus tomorrow so I have to get up kind of early.  I might try and hitch a ride with Paige.


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Just a quickie before I have to get ready....

So I have been out the past two nights, I am going out tonight, and tomorrow.  And I am totally broke. It kind of sucks because I can not drink or pay for anything.  
Ugh not having a job.

Anyways, I will have a post up Monday night. Sorry guys

Got to go get ready...!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hit Me....I have GREAT Lawyers

"Who can say, if i've been changed for the better, because I knew you, I have been changed for good"
~For Good, Wicked~

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads this.  I know that blogspot only says I have 10 followers, but those are the people with accounts.  For all my friends that read this without accounts, thanks for the support.  Everyone who reads helps me in a way, even if I don't know how yet, you do.
Below is a picture of some of my best friends.  Everyone of these people have helped me out when I needed them most.  Unfortunately I could not fit any others.  Trust me when I say a mural of all the people who have helped me would not fit all the people who mean the earth, moon, and stars to me.  You guys are the family I want to back me up when times are tough.  You have always been there for me, and I will always be there for you...
Love You!!!!

Today, I got up at 3:40 in the A.M.  I went to bed at midnight.  I kind of feel thats a little lopsided. lol
Sat around just hanging out with my mom, big sister, and my nephew.  I got all ready to go out today, including shaved and plucked my eyebrows.  I was really hoping to impress future employers.  Unfortunately my family reminded me why I could not rely on them for anything.  My mother went back to bed till her and my dad had to get up and go to work.  I wish I could get some kind of break, just to help me get out, and to look for a job.
I have a lot of bills to pay, especially ones I racked up while I had a job.  I got my credit card, phone, student loans, and I want to start putting money away for a car, and an apartment.  Right now I have 4.65 to my name. Two dollars in actual cash.  Ninety cents on my Wal-Mart Debit Card.  And Seventy-five cents in my checking account.  I hate being broke.  But what is worse is I can not get any help from any of my family.  I guess the 50 dollar video game my parents bought takes precedent.

My moms sister came over today.  She picked my little sister up from school and brought her home so my sister or I would not have to walk and get her.  We said thank you.  She should have left.
She felt it was her job to tell us what to do because there were some dishes that we had not had the chance to clean still in the sink.
She informed me today of a few things:

  • I guess I'm a squater, and my parents should put me out because I am a worthless piece of shit(her words)
  • I am a lier.  I asked her when I lied, and she then started yelling about something from my job....
  • I was apparently my former bosses boy-toy.  She also proceeded to tell me she knew about all "those" people on the crew.
  • And She was going to hit me.  I wanted her too.  I have lawyers that will put her away, place her son in foster care, and she will be paying out the nose for the rest of her natural born life.  I don't fight.  I get vengeance.
Just wondering if anybody would support me in saying it would be in my little sisters best interest if this woman was not at our house threatening to hit me.

Other news,  I am going to the gay bar on Friday.  I'm pretty pumped.  I haven't been out with my friends in quite a while.  I miss them.  Then saturday I am going to a house party for one of the local fraternities here.  Again, Im pumped.  I haven't been to a good old fashioned fraternity party since September!
I am probably going to be pretty drunk all weekend, if I can find some money. I am so tired of mooching.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about a boy from my past.  He is perfect, and I kind of wish that I was still in contact with him.  I am trying to get a hold of him.  I miss him a lot these days.  I care(d) about him more than I have about most people in my life.  I hope I get to speak with him again soon....

I would love it if people commented, even if it's just garble to know that people are really out there.  I think right now, the people reading this are my support group.  You are the ones that are helping me to get through some tough times, and into the better days.

Thank You

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Seizures and Vomit at 3 AM

"My goal in life is to be as good as a person my dog already thinks I am"

I had not originally planned on writing to everyone tonight, I was expecting to have something to talk about tomorrow.  But I just wanted to write so I could release some thoughts.

So here goes....

I slept till 5 o'clock this evening.
I spent the whole night before last, and all of yesterday at my brothers house.  He is not my real brother, just the closest thing.
Great Time was had.

Anyways, i slept all day, and Then sat around watching movies at home today(Jan. 18, since I am writing this at 4 in the morning) and took a shower about 7.  I wish I could get out more, maybe I would have a better sleep pattern, and wouldn't be up all night.
About an hour ago, my dog started having another seizure.  I say another because he has always had them, it just has been a while since his last.  This was a particularly intense one.  I am not sure he is going to survive them for much longer.  I feel like there should be more I can do, but the only thing I can do is sit next to him, while he looks at me, pleading with his brown eyes, begging to help him.  I see him mashing his teeth together, and shaking, and I am almost in tears.  Someday, I am going to help him.
What sucks the most is that there is no apparent reason for him to be having them.  I wish I could help...

You know, it took my working and traveling with big cats to remember that I wanted to work with and take care of animals.  But I think that he will be my biggest inspiration.  I know that this spot should be reserved for someone I can spend my life with, but right now that is him... My dog, my friend, is the greatest person in my life.  And I will spend the rest of his life with him.

Just an update on my personal/relationship life.
I have decided I am single.  If a boy does not want to take time to talk to me to confirm we are dating than I am not going to waste time trying to figure it out.
The straight guy I was texting, who is a good friend of mine any ways, has stopped texting. I am not going to say why, but I do know why.
Finally, the guy I liked while traveling with the tigers does not take the time to even acknowledge me, so, while I will still have feelings for him, I am not going to try or wait around.  Maybe another Time.

Oh yeah!
I am writing my coming out story for a book that is going to be published later this year! I am pretty psyched. Especially if it is published.  It is something that will be very helpful to me in the rest of my endeavors.

Goodnight/Good Morning Everyone!

If you guys wouldn't mind reading some blogs from a great friend of mine I would be really thankful.
Cigarettes and Coffee
Her name is Jude, and I love knowing her.  I hope that we remain friends for many years to come.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Semblance of Sanity....TIGERS!

"If you win a rat race, if you come in first place, than a rat is all you will be"
~The Clockwise Witness, Devotchka~

So really quick before I type this up, I got to say one thing.
I AM ____________________       ____________________(fill in the blank)
the end

So then, I want to talk a little about my recent adventures with Joe Exotic, and the GW Exotic Animal Park.  Oh how I miss it.

In previous posts I have said a little bit on how I got into what I was doing, and said a little on what I was doing.
Tonight, I am just going to ramble about it some more.  If you have questions I can answer just about anything you want to know.  I learned more in the short time I was there about myself, and about my passions, than I learned throughout my entire life.  I am not lying if when I say that this truly changed my life.

I saw my life take a turn for the best when I joined this crew.  It was the first time since I was young that I knew what I wanted to do.  I honestly can say that working with tigers reminded me that my childhood innocence was not as farfetched as the world would have me believe.  I know now, that I can, and will work with tigers, and any other animals I can for the rest of my life.  It only took leaving home and traveling with them for me to realize, or better, remember that this is what I am meant to do.

While we were in St. Louis Missouri, we had  3 tigers with us, our kangaroo, our lions, Joe's spider monkey, and his olive baboon.  Unfortunately our two play cage tigers; Baby Girl, and Baby Boy, were getting to be to old, and we where going to have to stop doing play cages with them.  Lucky for us babies had been born at the park.  A male and a female set of tigers, and some baby ligers!
Some info on ligers.

  • Mixed
  • Male Lion mated with a female tiger.
  • Amazing patterns in their fur.  I am in love with them.
  • Live shorter life-spans than normal big cats. :(
Now that you know this, you should know that our ligers did not survive.  It was sad, but these things happen.  There was one person on our crew who could not quite handle this, but he is no longer a member of the crew.

Anyways, These babies were the first chance I had to literally watch one grow.  You see, they came to us on the road.  In captivity when cubs are born they are often times taken from their mothers for protection.  The mothers can lose their maternal instincts, and have even been documented to eat their young, so it is much better for us to take them from day one.  It makes me a little sad, but I want to do what is best for the babies futures.
I feel like before I go any further I should clear something up.  I was working with a rescue organization, and we did not breed our animals.  The babies that came out on the road with us were products of rescues.  Their parents were rescued from zoo's and circus's that neglected or abuse them, or from private owners who have bought them thinking they could handle raising an exotic animal.
A couple things to think about:
  1. There are no laws restricting the buying/selling of exotic animals such as tigers or lions at public auctions, or on internet sites similar to ebay.
  2. In the United States it is illegal for us to rehabilitate and release them into the wild.
  3. People can buy these amazing beasts for next to nothing(so they are constantly coming into captivity) but we are not able to release them.  We have to take care of them for the rest of their captive lives.  Often times never having known the wild where they are from.
This pisses me off more than a lot of things in life.  Almost to the point of rage, which is very rare for me.

Anyways, I wanted to tell you about the babies.  Our baby tigers survived, and they grew up almost literally in my arms.  I worked with them almost everyday till just before I quit.  And I have to tell you something.  
Tigers = Drugs
 My favorite, and the one I inaccurately call mine was called Edward.  He was a butt-head a lot of the time, but I became most attached to him.  I don't want to sound like I knew more than anybody, I think I could never know as much as some people who were there, but I think that sometimes people connect with certain animals so much more than the bond between lovers.  I feel like he was my closest friend while I was on tour. I loved him.  See, Addicted.

One last thing.  There is one person I trusted more than Katie(the girl I signed on with) and he knows who he is.  I am not sure if that trust is still there.  I still wear the ring he gave me for christmas.  Maybe I am just lost right now...
I mentioned him in an earlier post, but I think I might go erase that.  I don't know yet.

Well, on a final note

I am listening to Empire State of Mind (Part II) sung by Alicia Keys, and am thinking that everyone deserves the right to marry.  "Bright lights will inspire you"

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Perspective...I wish more people shared mine.

Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads no where.  Oh would it be a waste, even if I knew my place, should I leave it there"
~Adele, Chasing Pavements~

I never feel well these days...

I want to know if I am in a relationship.  I feel like the boy I said that word to kind of played me, and I still can not figure out if I truly meant what I said, and if he truly meant it.  I want to sit down and talk to him, but it may never happen.  This is killing me.

Sunday night(Jan. 10) I decided to go and drink with my brother.  Now, the people who know me know that I do not have a real brother, just a friend with whom I can honestly say I can share everything with.
Any ways, I went and chilled at his new house with my fifth of Burnetts watermelon vodka.  It's so good to drink with raspberry soda.  Any ways, we got totally trashed and I decided that I needed my tattoo touched up.  Which is cool, because my brother is the person who did it in the first place.  So we got that out of the way.  As we were finishing up,  it was going on about 7 in the morning so I had to be home.  I had orientation at Mott Community College at 9, and didn't really want to miss it.  So my brothers girlfriend got out of bed, and drove me home.  Mind you, I am still drunk as hell.  I get in the shower, get dressed, and head downtown to where the campus is.  I sat through about 3 hours of listening to this lady talk about the college, and figure out how to use her computer to show us her powerpoint.  I could have helped.
I sat through all this just to find out that I can not get into any classes until the spring, summer, or fall semester because this winter semester is full.  So I kind of feel like I went to an orientation drunk for nothing.  Oh well.

I spent the rest of monday on the UofM - Flint campus, just hanging out.  Having not slept at all, and being drunk, I decided to sleep at about 7 that night.  I only slept till about 10, because the straight guy that has been talking to me wanted to talk, and send pics.  I feel bad that I am talking to him like this, because I know his girlfriend, and I really like her.  But I can't stop.  As long as I don't try and do anything with him physically, I can handle this.

Tuesday, I spent all day on campus again.  I feel like I should not be there anymore.  When I left, I think that things changed.  It feels like I am a visitor in a place I once called home.  Of course that is how I feel everywhere I am at.  I mean, I am still living out of my suitcase at home.
I also feel like my friends changed.  I missed a lot of events in their lives, and they missed a lot in mine, and I kind of feel like an observer in life now.  Sometimes, I even feel like I have alienated them from myself, but all I have ever done is try and be there for them, even when they weren't there for me.  I have even felt like they feel they can not talk to me anymore.  It kind of sucks.

There is so much more that I want to talk about on here, but I try not to ramble to much.  I just want to leave everyone with a clip from the Golden Girls which I feel should be shown to everyone.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Last Night...the only way 2 describe thursday...

''I don't like taking pain pills, I don't like to be numb, but tonight, maybe I'll take one." ~Noah. Noah's Arc~


These past couple of days have been, eventful, to say the least. I feel like I am spiraling.  Not quite out of control, but totally into confusion.  Apparently when I came back home I had to make up for all the drama here that I missed.  Ugh

I have been hanging out on the UofM - Flint campus almost everyday this week.  Tuesday through Friday I was there.  And not really coming home.  It has been awesome.
One of the past days I went to the mall and met a friend who was just getting out of work.  It was fun as hell just wandering around with him and another friend.
The friend I met up there started telling me about this stalker they had, and I was like like wtf ever.  But he was for real.  I read these texts and I was like wow, thats crazy.  So I took the number down and tried to call it, 4 times, no answer.  The number texts me back and we get into this huge fight for an hour and a half.  After a while things start calming down, because this guy is for real denying he sent any of those texts.  We get to just chatting, and it ends up I know who this person is.  And, They have a girlfriend. We have been texting back and forth. Oops

I went to a party at my friends room, and started talking to an old friend of mine, that was something, but never turned into a relationship.  The longer the night goes on, and the more 100 proof Captain I drink, the more him and I get to talking.  By 5:30 a.m. we are dating and already had sex that night.  Oops.  Now I don't know if we are still dating or if it was the alcohol speaking.  He has been working so I haven't had that much of a chance to talk to him.

Finally, I still think about they guy I left behind at work everyday.  Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed just so I could talk to him.  Oh well though, maybe all that has been going on will help me to figure out what I am supposed to do.

I have orientation at the local community college on monday to get into classes this semester so that I can get my GPA up and go back to UofM.  I can't wait to get out of the house again.

Feeling slightly crazy tonight, and wishing that my best friend hadn't backed out on going out tonight.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

It's Been One Year

"A brief candle; both ends burning 
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last."

written en route to the funeral for his friend, Ronnie Van Zant of the band, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

To start this blog on a sad note, Today is the one year mark to losing a dear friend of mine.

I'll take a shot for you my friend

We miss you....

Today I woke up a half hour before my alarm was set to go off.  Got up, showered, shaved, and got on the computer.  Around 11:30 my friend showed up, and I went with her to re-move into her dorm room.  I am so excited that everyone is coming back.  Needless to say, I miss a lot of people that I haven't seen in a very long time, and I am going to be spending the day on campus tomorrow again.

While I was on campus I saw quite a few people I have been missing.  And, I cleaned my friends suite door because some freshman decided it would be funny to toss apple sauce all over it.  Immature is a word that comes to mind.

I also attended my friends Initiation into the nursing program on campus.  Congrats!!!
Afterwards 12 of us went out to Applebees and had dinner.  The waiter there was hot, and his voice kind of turned me on. But, he kind of reminded me of Joey from Friends. Lol

I have spent most of this day, a small buzz in the back of my mind, reminding me that it was a year ago today I sat in a funeral home and said goodbye to my friend.  She left us earlier than I would have liked, but I know that she is better now.  That does not mean she is not missed, only that I am at peace with having said goodbye.  I am sad though, that those of us who knew her, rarely speak these days.  I will have to make it a point to get in touch with everyone.

I wanted to thank Ryan from Ryan's Life for making a shout of to my blog.  Ryan, there was something that concerned me though, I would love to speak with you through a private connection.  I am going to try and contact through e-mail before I head to bed tonight.

I would also like to thank justolefriend and their blog But Time Makes You Bolder

Goodnight everybody...
Thanks for Listening.

Monday, January 4, 2010

The Greatest Opportunity Ever

"I had the strangest feeling that I'd finally found me, and I liked the man that I'd found"
~The Boys of Swithens Hall. Chris Kent~

I don't really know what to talk about.

Sleep has been a bit off.  I have pretty much been sleeping every other night.  I am not sure that it is healthy, but it just kind of keeps happening.  My dreams kind of scare me a lot these days to.  They all seem to revolve around one person, and they always end up with me waking up ready to scream.  I was up till 9:30 this morning, not really tired.  I wish I could just find my dream catcher.

I really had not planned on updating this everyday, so to all my new friends and followers, I wouldn't expect this all the time.  It just seems to happen that I have time everyday to get on write to you guys.  I am glad that I have new people to read about me and my life.  I wish it was more.

I want to talk a little bit about the job I just quit.
In September, my friend Katie and I where driving around wasting time, as usual.  While out on our little adventure, we passed our local small mall.  We hadn't planned to stop, but the sign that said "COME SEE THE LIVE TIGERS" kind of caught our attention.  So we parked and walked our asses in. lol.  Needless to say, I fell in love with the most beautiful animals in the world.  There were 4 tigers; 3 Siberian mixes named Baby Boy, Baby Girl, and Buster(I loved working with him later on) and a White Bengal Tiger named Calypso, 2 African Lions named Peanut Butter and Jelly, an Olive Baboon named Ruthy, and an Australian Red Kangaroo named Pinky.  And we payed to play with one. 

Baby Girl.  She slept the whole time so we got some great pics of us kissing her and laying down with her.  I believe she was 5 or 6 weeks old at the time.  Now, we had paid for 8 minutes, but we were in with her for 15 minutes.  The trainer was Danny.  Remember that name.
I made Katie drive me back almost everyday just to see these babies, and to say hello to someone.
On saturday, we decided to play again, payed the 25 dollars, and went in with Buster.  A little background on this one: He was about born premature by 3 weeks, and the only one of his litter to survive.  He was only a week younger than Baby Girl and Baby Boy, but only about half their size.  He was a miracle, and we got to play with him.( I just realized how much I miss him)  Danny was our trainer again.  What luck. lol. During the time we were in there, we got to talking about working with them, and that was the moment I decided this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
A magic show also traveled with the animals to help bring in business.  So that night we decided to see the show.  I have to say this is one of the best shows I have seen, and can not wait to see the show on their next tour.  Unfortunately we had left early from the show so that I could go back and watch the babies.  I was in awe of them. Who could blame me?
Now, so far, I have failed to mention that I noticed the help wanted sign.  I noticed it the first day we were there, and I was curious.  So naturally, I grew some balls, walked up to the register(run by Barbara) and ask for an application.  It was one page, and the biggest question on there was "Are you willing to relocate?"
From there it goes like this:

  • Turn app in
  • Talk to Vicky
  • Talk to Joe
  • Am I able to leave immediately?
  • Be ready tomorrow!
  • Run home
  • Tell my parents I am leaving
  • Pack
  • Get to the mall the next day
  • Work

Now I know that seems kind of crazy, but if I had said I could not be ready, I feared I would miss out on the grandest opportunity of my life.  Plus, what was holding me back?

I traveled the country with these animals for 3 months, and in that time I became very attached to all of these animals. But one in particular I claim as my own.
Now, Ed had a major Identity Crisis.  We are 100% sure he thought he was a lion, for the sole reason he was very possessive.  What I mean is when he bit onto something, he would not let go.  No big deal, just a little different for tigers.  He knew who was boss(me) and he listened well.  Only a few people knew him as well as I did, and he has left a huge impression on me.  In fact his portrait is my next tattoo.

I recently quit this amazing opportunity for personal reasons, but I plan on going back some day.

You will be hearing a lot about the time I spent there on this blog, and the people, animals, and experiences I encountered.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

10 p.m. - 3 p.m. of the New Millennium

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are"
Anais Nin

  1. I woke up at 3:30 today.
  2. I totally just got excited for Ellen. But it's Sunday. Oops.
  3. I want to see somebody, who is in Oklahoma. :-(
Today is January 3rd, 2010.  Great, now I feel like Captain Obvious.  But, I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that this is the 2nd part of the new millennium.  I guess it is not so new now, but it is still young.  What has been accomplished in the first 10 years?


  • I made it through Y2K, with power and a computer. phew *wipes forehead*
  • Witnessed the single greatest attack on the United States. Wanted to kill the bastards who did it.
  • Went on a loooooong(16 days) vacation with my family to New York, Washington D.C., and all the states in between.
  • Frostbit my feet from walking barefoot in the snow.  No more anger issues.
  • Survived Freshman year.
  • Survived coming out Sophomore year.
  • Survived Junior year.  
  • The summer after that had my first experience
  • Got my first job working for Little Caesars.
  • Survived(kinda) Senior year.... failed senior english.
  • Survived summer School
  • My First Time. Still think about it... he hates me now. damn straight guys. lol
  • GRADUATED (which means I received my diploma, about a month after most people.)
  • Quit my first job.
  • Was one of the first people to grace the halls of the First Street Residence Hall, the first residential hall at the University of Michigan-Flint!
  • Went to college with no goal in mind
  • Drank...A lot
  • More sex
  • (starting to think this is not a blog for my parents. haha)
  • Failed my first year of college
  • Made the GREATEST friends anyone could ask for!
  • Moved home.
  • Traveled the USA working with Tigers(yes the ones that go ROAR)
  • Had my first relationship, kind of went bust.
  • Found a new crush... still not sure where this is going
  • Quit on Christmas and rode 9 hours home

I was thinking about doing a political portion and stating how we are in multiple wars, a huge recession which might as well be called a depression, and have nothing to show for it.  But I am tired of everyone blaming this all on our new president.  Key Word: NEW.  I am not his biggest fan, in fact I am truly disappointed in him, but I am not going to blame all our problems on him.  This is a nation run by the elected officials of the people.

So, on the day of the new year(cuz i stayed up all night ish), I had a crazy scary dream about someone I care very much about.  It was so bad that I did not sleep the night that follows.  I pulled an all nighter, trying not to think about it.  So I was up all day yesterday(2nd) with no sleep and a horrible nightmare running through my head. It was that bad.  I blame my parents for this.  When I moved out, they gave my sister, my bedroom, and she broke two rules.  One she touched it, the second she took my dreamcatcher down.  Now, I have to actually worry about sleeping every night.  Oh well though.  All day I sat at home watching YouTube videos, and hanging out(thank you for the neighbornet) and figuring things out. 

I think I might go back to school, now that I have some sort of idea of what I want to do with my life.  I wasted a year of my life, and somewhere around 8 THOUSAND DOLLARS because I went to college for no reason.  My entire family, and all my friends, and even my high school told me I must go to college immediately after I graduate.  Maybe all of them should pay my student loans back for me wasting my time.  I failed out.  
Now, I am not saying it is their fault that I failed.  That is totally my fault. I could have passed if I had any inkling of motivation to go to my classes or do my work.  I just had no want or drive to be there. I can not find a reason to go when I have no goal to work for.  It was their fault however that I went in the first place.  I could have continued working, and saved money up for the important things, like a license, or a car.  I could have found a reason to go to school if I had just waited 2 years.  That how long it has been since I graduated, and guess what.... I found out what I want to do.  Imagine the money I could have saved in 2 years... I have.  It is somewhere around 8 THOUSAND DOLLARS! go figure.

By the way.  I am going to go to school in the field of Wildlife Biology(I think thats the major I need) to work with Big Cats when I finish.  I am already on my way to certification.  Thank You to the greatest opportunity of my life. 

The past couple of months I worked with an organization based in Wynnewood Oklahoma.  The park was called GW Exotic Animal Park.  It is actually the largest big cat rescue in the nation, and home to over 200 big cats.  I recently quit for a few reasons that I am not going to advertise on the internet for all the world to see.  But it was the greatest opportunity that I have ever had, and I may return again someday in the near future.  I can tell you more, but this is already getting to be a very long post, so I will put a link on here, and hope that answers questions.  If not, leave a comment.

Ok, now I am feeling long winded. 
Time for me to go
OH YEAH! did you read the quote at the beginning?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Day One....So New....*squeaky*

I'm not really sure what made me want to start this blog, or why I am. But, I am.

  1. First, I want to warn anybody who reads my blog, you are not going to be in love with the way I am going to type this. This is probably going to be the most put together, grammatically correct entry.
  2. Second, If you disagree with something I do or say, good. Tell me what you think. The world is full of silent opinions. Those are the ones that never change anything. Hell, yell at me if you feel it would get my attention, or if I am just wrong.
  3. Third, I am looking for a lot of things out of life. A phrase that came to mind and I feel truly describes me;
    My Biggest Fear is not Dying, it is Having Not Lived.
    I am not going to pass up an opportunity to have the time of my life. It may seem reckless, or juvenile, but someday when I am lying on my deathbed, I do not want to look back and say, I wasted time do one thing when I had the chance to have a totally amazing adventure. I will not live my life having regret over not grabbing opportunities and running with them as far they will take me.
OK, now that's out of the way, let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Travis. I am, at the publication of this post, 19 years old, and I love to live.

That is all for now, DO NOT WORRY. You will definitely get to know me a lot better in time.