Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Seizures and Vomit at 3 AM

"My goal in life is to be as good as a person my dog already thinks I am"

I had not originally planned on writing to everyone tonight, I was expecting to have something to talk about tomorrow.  But I just wanted to write so I could release some thoughts.

So here goes....

I slept till 5 o'clock this evening.
I spent the whole night before last, and all of yesterday at my brothers house.  He is not my real brother, just the closest thing.
Great Time was had.

Anyways, i slept all day, and Then sat around watching movies at home today(Jan. 18, since I am writing this at 4 in the morning) and took a shower about 7.  I wish I could get out more, maybe I would have a better sleep pattern, and wouldn't be up all night.
About an hour ago, my dog started having another seizure.  I say another because he has always had them, it just has been a while since his last.  This was a particularly intense one.  I am not sure he is going to survive them for much longer.  I feel like there should be more I can do, but the only thing I can do is sit next to him, while he looks at me, pleading with his brown eyes, begging to help him.  I see him mashing his teeth together, and shaking, and I am almost in tears.  Someday, I am going to help him.
What sucks the most is that there is no apparent reason for him to be having them.  I wish I could help...

You know, it took my working and traveling with big cats to remember that I wanted to work with and take care of animals.  But I think that he will be my biggest inspiration.  I know that this spot should be reserved for someone I can spend my life with, but right now that is him... My dog, my friend, is the greatest person in my life.  And I will spend the rest of his life with him.

Just an update on my personal/relationship life.
I have decided I am single.  If a boy does not want to take time to talk to me to confirm we are dating than I am not going to waste time trying to figure it out.
The straight guy I was texting, who is a good friend of mine any ways, has stopped texting. I am not going to say why, but I do know why.
Finally, the guy I liked while traveling with the tigers does not take the time to even acknowledge me, so, while I will still have feelings for him, I am not going to try or wait around.  Maybe another Time.

Oh yeah!
I am writing my coming out story for a book that is going to be published later this year! I am pretty psyched. Especially if it is published.  It is something that will be very helpful to me in the rest of my endeavors.

Goodnight/Good Morning Everyone!

If you guys wouldn't mind reading some blogs from a great friend of mine I would be really thankful.
Cigarettes and Coffee
Her name is Jude, and I love knowing her.  I hope that we remain friends for many years to come.

1 comment:

  1. I love you too travis...you should come over this saturday, sunday or monday because I have a 3 day weekend and we should hang out